I vacillate between hope and a quiet despair most days. I’m getting ready to start a new job soon, and if all goes well financially, I’m creating a back up plan, if needed, to leave the USA with my sons. But I still have hope the people who want to watch the world burn will not get the show they want. I live in a state where a second grade teacher has to now be extremely careful how she mentions her married partner because they are in a same sex marriage. Yet, I still have hope. When not working, I paint, cook, crochet, grow things, do stuff with my boys before they become full fledged adults. I write poems, angry pieces of prose, short stories and I read. I dance to the music I love, and listen to certain albums now, savoring like a really expensive bourbon. I try to be social once in awhile so I don’t forget how to be, still trying to be Covid aware. And I try not to read the news every day. I can’t or I learned during the first year of the pandemic how quickly I will mentally fall apart. I allow myself 3 days a week for news, only 1 for international and national, 2 for local stuff, the days spaced out. And even those days I give myself a timer. My parents used to keep the TV news going in the background every afternoon and evening after they retired. It was entertaining background noise almost. Now I find it a kind of chore I do. I do not watch shows that constantly have talking heads giving their insight, opinions, arguments, etc because I find that to be stressful. I read more than watch. I sincerely hope you find hope, even if, like me, it comes and goes. Also, when you mentioned the rocks, I thought of that line in Forrest Gump- “sometimes, there just aren’t enough rocks.” Just made some fresh banana bread, sending its comforting smell and taste your way.
I vacillate between hope and a quiet despair most days. I’m getting ready to start a new job soon, and if all goes well financially, I’m creating a back up plan, if needed, to leave the USA with my sons. But I still have hope the people who want to watch the world burn will not get the show they want. I live in a state where a second grade teacher has to now be extremely careful how she mentions her married partner because they are in a same sex marriage. Yet, I still have hope. When not working, I paint, cook, crochet, grow things, do stuff with my boys before they become full fledged adults. I write poems, angry pieces of prose, short stories and I read. I dance to the music I love, and listen to certain albums now, savoring like a really expensive bourbon. I try to be social once in awhile so I don’t forget how to be, still trying to be Covid aware. And I try not to read the news every day. I can’t or I learned during the first year of the pandemic how quickly I will mentally fall apart. I allow myself 3 days a week for news, only 1 for international and national, 2 for local stuff, the days spaced out. And even those days I give myself a timer. My parents used to keep the TV news going in the background every afternoon and evening after they retired. It was entertaining background noise almost. Now I find it a kind of chore I do. I do not watch shows that constantly have talking heads giving their insight, opinions, arguments, etc because I find that to be stressful. I read more than watch. I sincerely hope you find hope, even if, like me, it comes and goes. Also, when you mentioned the rocks, I thought of that line in Forrest Gump- “sometimes, there just aren’t enough rocks.” Just made some fresh banana bread, sending its comforting smell and taste your way.
Wow. Thank you for this.