I loved your descriptions of wanting to become primitive again, especially during the rough bouts of internal temperature chaos. I still think one possible idea of the middle aged woman living outside of the village in the forest being called a witch is sourced from menopausal middle aged women in medieval time and beyond ( if they lived that long). They were dealing with hot flashes and hormonal rage, simply wanting to get away from all the expectations and possibly truly wanting to curdle the cows milk of some mean, spiteful folk and make the cruel jackasses in the village get scabies.
A hot flash can be so disorienting sometimes as to feel like a kind of magical fire power revving up, only you have NO control of it, so you wait for the relief of dissipation. I have had many a fantasy of being able to take the heat and fire you feel, and push it out in a focused way to make it go away. Like a dragon or Godzilla or a sorceress.
But, as I have said before, I have adopted the meme of the dog sitting at a table in a room on fire and stating, “This is fine,” as my mantra for my hot flashes. I breathe thru it and tell myself it will eventually pass.
But I still sometimes imagine shooting flames out of my mouth or hands at times, and it gives me a bit of wicked delight, depending on the circumstances.
“I entertained the notion that a new, better me was being forged in the fires of this seemingly random and sourceless heat. But that’s just poetry, flirting with meaning in the blood and the stars.” So good. I have applied this magical meaning making to a diversity of unwanted events.
Wow this is such a powerful and empowering description. I have always loved the idea that the furnace of menopause is burning away that which no longer serves us, but honestly who really knows? It's good to bring these experiences out of the closet and share them loud and proud, instead of hiding and masking and whispering about them behind closed doors. Thanks for giving voice to this ❤
I had intense heart palpitations which were chalked up to perimenopause (after blood tests and stress test). Noone had ever told me that heart palpitations were a symptom. But when I asked women my age if they had the same, I was surprised to hear how many had the same symptom.
This may sound odd, but as I read your vivid description, I found myself thinking of orgasms - the way they overtake you, forcing you to succumb to your body's exquisitely primitive dictates. Thank you for taking the hot flash out of the "punchline" category and describing it in what seems a much more apt way - as something that can be horrid, but also, magnificent. Women are amazing. And so is this essay.
I am now wondering whether the brief moments of heat filling my body recently are actually hot flashes and not the anxiety I thought they were 🤔 i can always use ways of reframing away from anxiety!
Lisa, I loved this piece though I must share that I never experienced a single hot flash. Did you see that I shared your red thread piece yesterday and have gotten comments that call your piece “exquisite “. I thought so too. Have a look at it with my intro on Reflections at 85.
I loved your descriptions of wanting to become primitive again, especially during the rough bouts of internal temperature chaos. I still think one possible idea of the middle aged woman living outside of the village in the forest being called a witch is sourced from menopausal middle aged women in medieval time and beyond ( if they lived that long). They were dealing with hot flashes and hormonal rage, simply wanting to get away from all the expectations and possibly truly wanting to curdle the cows milk of some mean, spiteful folk and make the cruel jackasses in the village get scabies.
A hot flash can be so disorienting sometimes as to feel like a kind of magical fire power revving up, only you have NO control of it, so you wait for the relief of dissipation. I have had many a fantasy of being able to take the heat and fire you feel, and push it out in a focused way to make it go away. Like a dragon or Godzilla or a sorceress.
But, as I have said before, I have adopted the meme of the dog sitting at a table in a room on fire and stating, “This is fine,” as my mantra for my hot flashes. I breathe thru it and tell myself it will eventually pass.
But I still sometimes imagine shooting flames out of my mouth or hands at times, and it gives me a bit of wicked delight, depending on the circumstances.
“I entertained the notion that a new, better me was being forged in the fires of this seemingly random and sourceless heat. But that’s just poetry, flirting with meaning in the blood and the stars.” So good. I have applied this magical meaning making to a diversity of unwanted events.
Wow this is such a powerful and empowering description. I have always loved the idea that the furnace of menopause is burning away that which no longer serves us, but honestly who really knows? It's good to bring these experiences out of the closet and share them loud and proud, instead of hiding and masking and whispering about them behind closed doors. Thanks for giving voice to this ❤
I had intense heart palpitations which were chalked up to perimenopause (after blood tests and stress test). Noone had ever told me that heart palpitations were a symptom. But when I asked women my age if they had the same, I was surprised to hear how many had the same symptom.
This may sound odd, but as I read your vivid description, I found myself thinking of orgasms - the way they overtake you, forcing you to succumb to your body's exquisitely primitive dictates. Thank you for taking the hot flash out of the "punchline" category and describing it in what seems a much more apt way - as something that can be horrid, but also, magnificent. Women are amazing. And so is this essay.
I am now wondering whether the brief moments of heat filling my body recently are actually hot flashes and not the anxiety I thought they were 🤔 i can always use ways of reframing away from anxiety!
Beautiful. Love the accompanying painting at the top of the article. ❤️
Lisa, I loved this piece though I must share that I never experienced a single hot flash. Did you see that I shared your red thread piece yesterday and have gotten comments that call your piece “exquisite “. I thought so too. Have a look at it with my intro on Reflections at 85.